Love or Arranged: How would you get Married ??

Don't you guys think marriage is a very important criterion to get distinguished in the kind of society we are living in? I have heard many people especially the neighborhood aunties saying the so-called famous filmy dialogues,

‘Beta ab to naukri bhi lag gayi, shaadi kab kar rahe ho??’

‘Aur bataiye beti k hath peele kab karwa rahe hain??’

Trust me when you get to hear such things your mind rage to slap these guys. These neighborhood aunties are such a pain in the ass. Sometimes I do feel, even my Mother isn’t that worried the way these society peoples are.

Anyways, coming to the point, through this post I want to express my opinions regarding the so called important thing, ‘Marriage’.

As Wikipedia suggests, Marriage also called as matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them.

In simple words, Marriage is a term our society has made to unite two people (they may also be of same sex, though it is unfortunately illegal in India). When you choose your significant other and marry, it is called Love Marriage and when the same is done by your Parents it is called Arranged Marriage.

Now before jotting down my personal views on Marriages, let me begin with a story. The stories that I’m going to discuss here aren’t fictional and are true to the best of my knowledge…..
(In the public platform real name can’t be disclosed..)


She completed her graduation. She wanted to be independent, so she joined a school as an assistant teacher. There she met with a guy who was her colleague. He was smart and was around the same age of her. Days later after spending some quality time together they both fell in love with each other. Their love was true and was envied by others. If there is a term, ‘Ram-Sita’ Jodi then it would perfectly suit them.

After spending 6 long years in love, they finally decided to marry. She told everything about the guy to her parents. Her parents disagreed. Though he was smart, his income wasn’t good enough to run a family. She promised that she will work even after marriage but her parents didn’t agreed. With no other option, she decided to end her life. She took 22 sleeping pills in one go. Thanks to the almighty that her sister saw her while doing so and informed her parents. She was soon taken to the hospital and was saved. Now her parents had no other option but to agree.

They finally tied the knot. Their love won…

All is well that ends well, right??? But this is not the end…….

She got pregnant 4 months post marriage and that is when the real problem started. She now found hard to go to work. She decided to quit her job. Her husband wasn’t happy with the decision. He very well knew his only income won’t even satisfy their daily needs. He asked her to get aborted. For him it wasn’t the right time for giving birth to a child. She refused, she wanted her first child. He was stubborn, he began torturing her, not just mentally but physically too. She cried.. She cried everyday but there was no one to hear. She called her parents and informed them everything but they left the whole thing to the couple. They clearly said he wasn’t their choice, they knew this was to come someday, they left the whole thing to her……….

She was strong enough. She took the decision.. She filed a case and divorced him. She joined a different school.. Worked even in her 7th month of pregnancy.. Took leave for 2 months, gave birth to a sweet little baby girl and joined the school again.


Now tell me would you call this a failure of Love Marriage ???

Here is another story:


Her parents searched the best groom for her. She was their only daughter; they wanted to see her happy. They spent their entire saved money on her marriage. The groom’s family asked for a dowry of 20 Lakhs but her parents didn’t hesitated, though all they had was only 20 Lakhs. Everything ended with a happy note. She finally moved into the family of her in-laws.

Marriage life was all good for her. She perhaps had one of best man one would ever dream of. He was working in a MNC. They had a 2 BHK Flat, a Mercedes Benz and everything a normal human being will wish for.

He smoked, he drank, she asked him to quit, he didn’t, and she compromised.
He used to come late at nights, she asked, he asked her to shut up and she compromised.
She had no other option but to compromise on anything and everything.

She even found pictures of her husband making out with other girls, when she asked about it to him, she got a tight slap. All she did was cried and cried some more. She thought of saying about it to her parents but dropped the thought as she didn’t want to hurt them in their old age….. She decided to compromise all her life…

Tell me would you call this a successful Arranged Marriage ???



Hope you get an answer and brush my knowledge a bit….



Here are some Pros & Cons of Marriage:

Love Marriage: 

Pros:

1. You already know about your partner; their likings, disliking and everything.
2. You have taken your own decision and no one has pressurized you for doing such. There won’t be any kind of tensions.
3. As you already know about your partner, it would be easy for you guys to adjust with the things when living in together.
4. Last but certainly not the least, Love Marriages generally eradicate the social evil called ‘Dowry’.

Cons:

Hilarious Image found on Google-1

1. If it’s love cum arranged marriage, the problems might be less but if you guys have married even after your parent’s objection then you have to face the consequences alone. Less are the chances that anyone will stand by you in your bad times.
2. When in love the couple spends most of their time over phone calls or texts. Generally we don’t show our bad habits over phone. In order to impress we keep on showing the good things that we possess. What if your partner comes out of bathroom without washing his hands?? YUCK!! Isn’t it???
3. Assume if the marriage somehow didn’t work, you might have no one to support you. No doubt you can get back to your parents but remember how they had felt when you left them in their old age..

Arranged Marriages:

Pros:

1. Who better know us than our parents?? How could you think they would not search the best for us??
2. In arranged marriage there is that thing called, ‘Excitement’. Won’t your heart double its speed on the first night?
3. The kind of society we are living in people won’t give sarcastic comment if we marry as per our parent’s choice.
4. As Chetan Bhagat described in his book, 2 States: “In India, Boy’s family has to love Girl’s family and Girl’s family has to love Boy’s family and only then marriage is possible”. So in arranged not only the bond between the couple gets stronger, even it creates a kind of bond between the two families.

Hilarious Image found on Google-2

Cons:

1. The biggest and foremost demerit of Arranged Marriage is, it gives birth to the social evil system, ‘Dowry’. Generally in India a rich Bride easily gets a good qualified groom than a middle class bride.
2. Your likings might be disliked by your partner and then the no stopping arguments will continue making your married life a living hell.
3. Who knows your partner might be having an extra marital affair out of your knowledge. He/she married you only because her/his parents forced her for doing so.

Conclusion:

You will find Pros and Cons for almost everything and Marriage isn’t any exception. Some Love Marriages are worth inspiring while some Arranged Marriages could be considered as epic love stories. But there aren’t any perfect argument to justify which of the duo is better.

Remember unlike love, Marriage isn’t a child’s play. Think twice and even thrice before taking the biggest decision of your life.



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