Love or Arranged: How would you get Married ??

Don't you guys think marriage is a very important criterion to get distinguished in the kind of society we are living in? I have heard many people especially the neighborhood aunties saying the so-called famous filmy dialogues,

‘Beta ab to naukri bhi lag gayi, shaadi kab kar rahe ho??’

‘Aur bataiye beti k hath peele kab karwa rahe hain??’

Trust me when you get to hear such things your mind rage to slap these guys. These neighborhood aunties are such a pain in the ass. Sometimes I do feel, even my Mother isn’t that worried the way these society peoples are.

Anyways, coming to the point, through this post I want to express my opinions regarding the so called important thing, ‘Marriage’.

As Wikipedia suggests, Marriage also called as matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them.

In simple words, Marriage is a term our society has made to unite two people (they may also be of same sex, though it is unfortunately illegal in India). When you choose your significant other and marry, it is called Love Marriage and when the same is done by your Parents it is called Arranged Marriage.

Now before jotting down my personal views on Marriages, let me begin with a story. The stories that I’m going to discuss here aren’t fictional and are true to the best of my knowledge…..
(In the public platform real name can’t be disclosed..)


She completed her graduation. She wanted to be independent, so she joined a school as an assistant teacher. There she met with a guy who was her colleague. He was smart and was around the same age of her. Days later after spending some quality time together they both fell in love with each other. Their love was true and was envied by others. If there is a term, ‘Ram-Sita’ Jodi then it would perfectly suit them.

After spending 6 long years in love, they finally decided to marry. She told everything about the guy to her parents. Her parents disagreed. Though he was smart, his income wasn’t good enough to run a family. She promised that she will work even after marriage but her parents didn’t agreed. With no other option, she decided to end her life. She took 22 sleeping pills in one go. Thanks to the almighty that her sister saw her while doing so and informed her parents. She was soon taken to the hospital and was saved. Now her parents had no other option but to agree.

They finally tied the knot. Their love won…

All is well that ends well, right??? But this is not the end…….

She got pregnant 4 months post marriage and that is when the real problem started. She now found hard to go to work. She decided to quit her job. Her husband wasn’t happy with the decision. He very well knew his only income won’t even satisfy their daily needs. He asked her to get aborted. For him it wasn’t the right time for giving birth to a child. She refused, she wanted her first child. He was stubborn, he began torturing her, not just mentally but physically too. She cried.. She cried everyday but there was no one to hear. She called her parents and informed them everything but they left the whole thing to the couple. They clearly said he wasn’t their choice, they knew this was to come someday, they left the whole thing to her……….

She was strong enough. She took the decision.. She filed a case and divorced him. She joined a different school.. Worked even in her 7th month of pregnancy.. Took leave for 2 months, gave birth to a sweet little baby girl and joined the school again.


Now tell me would you call this a failure of Love Marriage ???

Here is another story:


Her parents searched the best groom for her. She was their only daughter; they wanted to see her happy. They spent their entire saved money on her marriage. The groom’s family asked for a dowry of 20 Lakhs but her parents didn’t hesitated, though all they had was only 20 Lakhs. Everything ended with a happy note. She finally moved into the family of her in-laws.

Marriage life was all good for her. She perhaps had one of best man one would ever dream of. He was working in a MNC. They had a 2 BHK Flat, a Mercedes Benz and everything a normal human being will wish for.

He smoked, he drank, she asked him to quit, he didn’t, and she compromised.
He used to come late at nights, she asked, he asked her to shut up and she compromised.
She had no other option but to compromise on anything and everything.

She even found pictures of her husband making out with other girls, when she asked about it to him, she got a tight slap. All she did was cried and cried some more. She thought of saying about it to her parents but dropped the thought as she didn’t want to hurt them in their old age….. She decided to compromise all her life…

Tell me would you call this a successful Arranged Marriage ???



Hope you get an answer and brush my knowledge a bit….



Here are some Pros & Cons of Marriage:

Love Marriage: 

Pros:

1. You already know about your partner; their likings, disliking and everything.
2. You have taken your own decision and no one has pressurized you for doing such. There won’t be any kind of tensions.
3. As you already know about your partner, it would be easy for you guys to adjust with the things when living in together.
4. Last but certainly not the least, Love Marriages generally eradicate the social evil called ‘Dowry’.

Cons:

Hilarious Image found on Google-1

1. If it’s love cum arranged marriage, the problems might be less but if you guys have married even after your parent’s objection then you have to face the consequences alone. Less are the chances that anyone will stand by you in your bad times.
2. When in love the couple spends most of their time over phone calls or texts. Generally we don’t show our bad habits over phone. In order to impress we keep on showing the good things that we possess. What if your partner comes out of bathroom without washing his hands?? YUCK!! Isn’t it???
3. Assume if the marriage somehow didn’t work, you might have no one to support you. No doubt you can get back to your parents but remember how they had felt when you left them in their old age..

Arranged Marriages:

Pros:

1. Who better know us than our parents?? How could you think they would not search the best for us??
2. In arranged marriage there is that thing called, ‘Excitement’. Won’t your heart double its speed on the first night?
3. The kind of society we are living in people won’t give sarcastic comment if we marry as per our parent’s choice.
4. As Chetan Bhagat described in his book, 2 States: “In India, Boy’s family has to love Girl’s family and Girl’s family has to love Boy’s family and only then marriage is possible”. So in arranged not only the bond between the couple gets stronger, even it creates a kind of bond between the two families.

Hilarious Image found on Google-2

Cons:

1. The biggest and foremost demerit of Arranged Marriage is, it gives birth to the social evil system, ‘Dowry’. Generally in India a rich Bride easily gets a good qualified groom than a middle class bride.
2. Your likings might be disliked by your partner and then the no stopping arguments will continue making your married life a living hell.
3. Who knows your partner might be having an extra marital affair out of your knowledge. He/she married you only because her/his parents forced her for doing so.

Conclusion:

You will find Pros and Cons for almost everything and Marriage isn’t any exception. Some Love Marriages are worth inspiring while some Arranged Marriages could be considered as epic love stories. But there aren’t any perfect argument to justify which of the duo is better.

Remember unlike love, Marriage isn’t a child’s play. Think twice and even thrice before taking the biggest decision of your life.



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Kolab Dam, Jeypore (K)

Jeypore is the largest town after Bramhapur of south Odisha and the Sub-Division of Koraput district. Along with Bhubaneswar, Cuttack, Sambalpur, Rourkela, Puri and Bramhapur, Jeypore is one of the prominent places of Odisha. 

Jeypore pronounced as Joypur in Odia, literally means "The City of Victory". Nature has given Jeypore generously waterfalls, dense green forests. This is also a prominent business place on southern Odisha. It is encompassed by hills of the Eastern Ghats and the more famous Araku hills on three sides like a horse shoe with the western side opening up to Chhattisgarh in central India. It is the business hub for the district and southern Odisha.

Kolab Dam is at an altitude of about 3000 ft. above sea level on river Kolab. This majestic Kolab Reservoir generates Hydro Electric Power. The place is highly admired for its scenic beauty, attracting people for weekend picnic and boating. 

Jeypore and its surrounding areas are a nature lover's delight. Owing to its geographical position among the hills it is endowed with scenic beauty. The green hills, fresh water lakes and springs make it a treat of nature. There is an enormous untapped tourism industry that the place has to offer. 

Kolab Botanical Garden that stands beside the Majestic Kolab reservoir is ideal for weekend picnic for people all over the district. This place is highly admired for its scenic beauty, attracting tourists for weekend picnic and boating. 

The well maintained botanical garden has over 200 varieties of flowering plants. Even the night view of the reservoir is worth experiencing..

You just can't afford to miss this place of Jeypore !!

The Homing Pigeons

"Not all love stories are perfect,

                         but then, neither are people...."

Author: Sid Bahri

Published By: Srishti Publishers and Distributors

ISBN: 978-93-803-4991-6

About The Author:

A Hotelier by education, an ex-banker and a senior executive in the outsourcing industry, Sid gave up a plush career in the outsourcing industry to follow his passions. 

Based out of Ranikhet, he is now a struggling entrepreneur and a happy writer. A self-proclaimed eccentric, he is an avid blogger who loves to read and cook. Cooking stories, however, is his passion. The Homing Pigeons is his debut novel.

Contact The Author:

   Twitter

Book Blurb:

In the middle of the catastrophic 2008 recession, Aditya, a jobless, penniless man meets an attractive stranger in a bar. Little does he know that his life will change forever.

When Radhika, a young, rich widow, marries off her step daughter, little does she know that the freedom she has yearned for is not exactly how she had envisioned it.

They say homing pigeons always come back to their mate, no matter where you leave them on the face of this earth. The Homing Pigeons is the story of love between these two unsuspecting characters as it is of lust, greed, separations, prejudices and crumbling spines.

My Review:

First of all I would like to thank the Author, Sid Bahri for giving the Novel Freaks such a wonderful book to read. In no way, it seems as his debut novel.

The 318 pages of the book will take you to the world of Aditya and Radhika. As like any other love story, even their love story starts from school days. But in the fear of losing the other, none could express what their heart feels.

Years later, they again confront each other during a management training program. They spend some time together and made love. It is then when both realized that they got what they wanted. But destiny turns the wheel, they get separated again, Radhika marries to her parent’s choice and moves abroad. This decision of Radhika proves to be a disaster; months later after having a miscarriage, she returns back to India, precisely to Aditya. And the story moves on…. (what will be the use if I write everything here.)

Honestly, this book, not only speaks of a love story but also it says how a single wrong decision of yours can make your life upside down. With that, it also has something to say about that period of Recession: where corporate giants were thrown out of their companies for no valid reasons.

The best thing I liked about the book is its narration. The Author has beautifully written the book which never made me feel bore. While reading it was really very hard to keep the book down, as it carved me to know what the story is really like. Last but certainly not the least, I loved the book and I bet, even you will definitely love it.

One thing that made me disappoint is, its end. The way the book has started and moved on, I was expecting more form the end. It felt as if the book end abruptly as if the Author is in a hurry to mark a full stop. 

    

P.S: I got this book as a winner copy in a giveaway organized by “The ReadAddicts”

My Rating: 4.5/5 

( -0.5 for the end. Irrespective of my Rating or Review, this is a book you should definitely read )

Wana Grab a Copy ??? 

To buy at Amazon  :  Click Here

To buy at Flipkart  :  Click Here